Saturday, November 29, 2008
8:49 PM
Another week of school has ended. Then, I realised.. Term test in 2 weeks. DEAD. again.
Projects still ongoing altogether with stress of thing to study, Quizzes, Reports and Presentation. THANK GOD DDCT presentation is done. I hope I did well. It was a great job well done for everyone in the group even though we're so FREAKING nervous down in the LT. But. yeah its an experience. THEN. Quizzes come and go with marks barely climbing over the PASS line. For IPT, I could've got a 15 half for it. BUT darn it cos the whole group of us got half the mark cos we didn't go for the tutorial. SIANED. WHY OH WHY.
Auntie Rosana's wedding is in 29 days. HAHA well, i bet she's excited while for me, even though I'm going to be the Bridemaid which means being PRETTY for one night haha, its stressful for me. Cos for the wedding cake. I'm the one in charge of the deco for it. SIGH. when something is done by me esp ARTS. it has to be PERFECT. so i'll take ages and waste materials by throwing what actually acceptable. OH WELL. that's me.
There's no piano till feb. Cos I just can't find the time for it. no time to practice, causing to do poorly in lesson. SO since the economy is BAD. I;m gonna help my mom to save the money I;m wasting cos I have no time to practice Cos of school. My schedule in school is like worse than office hours. BELIEVE ME.
Once the trial cake is done I'll take a picture of it and tell me your comments no matter how harsh it can be. HAHA. ohwells. I'm tired again. I realised that its not just O's that made me have eye bags. its project and poly too. My eye bags are SO BIG. I've become Poh the Panda. :P. it sux. Anyway, I better think of a way to rectify this prob... ok that's not really the right word to use.. Anyway for my eye Bags to become better.
so the solution is to
SLEEP!
nights
ZZZZZZ
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
12:08 AM
BPHAR sucks like
SHIT with flys flying around it.
I studied the equations last min. AND she just HAD to give funny eqn. fish la.
tutorial quiz BUANGED.
now, study BPHAR again. sucks. esp topic 3. anyway. I'm getting better. DDCT sucks too.
BUT! PIA lab rocks! even if with reports! the best lab ever! haha. so darn funny esp with kairos. haha Thanks ah! esp when I laugh myself till my legs go jelly. :)
how much more do you want me to give in?
what haven't I given in?
certain things you say..
may seem like a joke at the beginning
as time passes. rmb. everyone has a threshold.
sometimes my state of mind is unpredictable.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
this sucks now what?
10:13 PM
i'm dying.
FLU. sucks.
School sucks.
PIA sucks like no one's business.. Its like another freaking PUO altogether.
I hate projects.
I miss CLARA so much.
I hate A levels.
nose is a goner. sigh
Thursday, November 20, 2008
11:30 PM
HAPPY 19th birthday GRACE!
Tmr, I have IPT and DDCT interview. I'm more afraid for IPT. cos its ROLEPLAY. I can't act. that's why I'm not in Mediacorp or something. Sigh~. We have to act as a Pharmacist. Although we have research on the Illness and the various medications to treat the illness, but it still doesn't give you the reassurance that you need at all. Cos maybe when you're in the roleplay, you'll ask silly questions like, "Are you a female/male?" Miss Tan told us such Qns were asked before. Even body language also affects the grade you'll be getting. ARGH.
DAMN I HATE PROJECTS.
Now, its into week 5 of Poly 2.2. Hmmm, it seriously feels like its only 3 weeks of school. Time is not non-existent. It feels so surreal that everything has happened. Sigh. in around 2 weeks like Term test is gonna come. Now, How can I find the time to do revision for BPHAR, IPT, DDCT, PIA, PMic? hmmm does CSAS have term test. I SO hope not. Now, we're still in a midst of doing our projects. And DDCT PRESENTATION is on next thurs. Hurrrr~
Sigh. I just want the two week break to come. To think I was excited for school to start and everything. IN the end, We're just bombarded with PROJECTS. like what Mai says, "BOOM! haha good luck." So true. haha.
lalala. I realised Beyonce has really quite a number of good songs. haha. I love the dance routine in All the Single Ladies. super OMG. seriously. and there's a funny version to it done by Justin Timberlake. haha Beyonce was dancing to the song and Justin timberlake was follwing her with 2 other guys in the background. LMAO.
I guess its time to ZZZ. I need more ZZZZZs.
Toodles~
i wish everyday is like today :)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
If I were a boy
8:35 PM
If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
Sunday, November 16, 2008
TV!TV!TV!
6:07 PM
BPHAR is DONE! Oh yeah OH yeah! Sing it with me Uh huh! haha ok nvm. But yeah! I've finally finished my BPHAR and I'm satisfied with what I have done. Well, Some parts of results mainly putting it into a table(for my convenience). Then my very own part, Discussion. The BULK of the whole report. Next time I shouldn't be so dumb to take Discussion. Oh well, But it just felt like FNN all over again. Then I help XJ to tweak the Conclusion part to.. Well, I guess we all want our marks right? Heeee. AND.. and.. Accomplishments just feels DARN good. haha
Anyway, I told my Mum that I had a weird dream of her last night. HAHA about she bringing me to some luxurious Salon that does MANI, PEDI and also HAIR. So she said,"Rachael, go choose the colour that you wanna dye or highlight you hair with." THEN, I woke up -.-. BUT at least I dreamt of it cos it felt so real haha. Then the MANI and PEDI was so nice.. SIGH. if only I had that kinda service all life-long. :) HAHA.
OHOHOH! my beloved Grandma from Kuching is BACK for X'mas haha and Xiao Wei too. (Clara he's not the cute one that you love so much, that's Xiao Kai) yeah. they came yesterday Eh... 1pm? HAHA yeah then we went to the Staff canteen to eat my HOKKIEN PRAWN MEE. I realised that I've been eating that ever since I was born. haha the Auntie in that stall knows my and my family hahah. yupps.
With BPHAR done, at least I can WATCH TV finally after two weeks of project meeting and actually relax with worrying what to had up Tmr. EH.. but There's sterility test tmr.. and IPT and DDCT on fri... Oh crap. Summary notes for DDCT.. rawr..
NVM. HECK. I'm going to watch TV.
CCN!! FLOWERS.
12:05 AM
I'm in the middle of doing BPHAR report, which is due my MON. crap. I HATE PROJECT WORKS. I mean doing it individually is better I think. Cos you know where you are. Nvm about that. I hate rats. OH! and I found my BRACELET! haha the one I LOST!! thank god! I'm SO HAPPY!
Yesterday was CCN day, well I didn't do much but I think at least I helped earn at least 8 dollars? not much huh.. But it's still more than ZERO. Well, I wanted to do more. But time doesn't let me do so. IPT and DDCT meeting. DDCT was kinda okay but it wasn't fantastic. All of us recieved each other's notes in the last min, so we didn't have much time to read them. THANK GOD. I used the remaining time I had to read Clinical Trials. And Miss Tan asked me about Phase 1 HENG AH. haha. OHOHOH!! I recieved a flower from a guy for the FIRST TIME. But tis not from someone I expected. HAHA. Well, cos Grace's class was selling Daisies and Roses. Grace spotted me among the crowd in AS, she didn't say HI she said,"EH..! Rachael! heh come take out your wallet :D" pointing to my bag. HAHA so as being a charitable me 'ahem' HAHA well, basically i just took $2 to buy a pink daisy from her. I SO NICE RIGHT? HOR GRACE? haha. I'm such an easy target :) EH! wait I sidetracked! Yao Li gave me the flower haha. He bought like quite abit then didn't have girls to give so he gave to SM and me.. well, that's the girls that I knew that he gave. HAHA oh wells.
I also drew the two nicest free-hand drawing in a day! haha First Time! i guess my brain was SO in a need to destress. Here's the Pictures!
I didn't do much.
Cos I shouldn't
at least I went.
to see a cloud of black,
was hurtful.
but I went through it.
the day I dread has past.
Friday, November 14, 2008
why
12:45 AM
i think..
I'm at a point of breakdown. Imagine a family not showing concern for you or check on you when you're cooped up in the room. Imagine no one in the family not understanding the stress you're having in school. Even if they didn't understand the stress. They could at least ask Qns nicely right? and at least not in a way that you did something wrong or against your will or consience.
Is it that hard to ask a QN nicely?
Sigh. sometimes. i wish. i just wish.....
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Fcuk
10:39 PM
Can't I rant about what has happened to me?
I mean I need an output.
I can't keep it to myself and let everything churn inside?!?
I'm a girl.
I need to talk to someone when something pisses me off
Esp. when I talk to someone, I hope the person is willing to listen at least.
I'm really pissed.
I don't practice what I preach? Hell yeah I do.
Would you like it if someone tells you, you don't?
NOT RIGHT?
then don't say it to others.
how would you know they didn't?
Its painful enough to face something that hurt them before.
Its not like I want to
So. its not my fault.
You didn't get the picture right.
I'm not going to say sorry.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
HUGosuffocationagitis
1:28 AM
I'm only able to sleep now. after finishing all last min projects. IPT, Pmic. Sigh.
I'm drained from school.
ZZZ
Everyone's drained.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
project-suffocationagitis-.-
8:20 PM
Hmmm, guess what?
Ever since the previous post, I've completed only one task. DDCT. Well, IPT is half down cos I;m kinda done with the reading part of the photostated notes. Erm, PMic is stuck cos I have to go down to the library to find out about the media and ingredient used for it and steps of preparations. DARN. PMic is so trouble some.
Now, I'm resting from dinner and sending all that emails today. Then, I'll get started with the rest of my stuff like tutorials and CSAS's resume and cover letter. ARGH.
DAMN IT.
Damn
1:06 PM
Hectic week seriously. Especially Sat. That was a really chaotic day. SIGH.. so busy till I misplaced my bracelet. DAMN IT. Sigh. I guess I have to call in the Centre that I was in for my Appointment and see whether is it still there.
I pray to GOD that it'll still be there. Cos that very bracelet really mean alot to me. Even though its something with three fishes. I'm such a blur ass.
Now, I have so many deadlines to meet. DDCT, IPT, PMic. I'm starting to hate school so much. Seriously. This sem sucks so much. Why can't they distribute it out evenly so we don't have to slog like no one's business this Sem. Sick pple.
I really wonder what lies ahead for me. Its just so vague.
Friday, November 7, 2008
LOVE
9:58 PM
Kelly asked me to read Christabel's blog. She said that what it said was SO TRUE. Well, I think so too. do you?
When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love.
Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, it is to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.
To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow.
Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.
Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love 'coz every time we do, we get hurt, and then I figured that's why it's called falling in love.
I really think its true.
Think about it. Esp those who was in love and is in love.
Surely you'll find it true.
toodles~
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Bball:)
9:52 PM
I was suppose to have an appointment today at International Plaza, but I was late so My mum and I decided to cancel it. SOO... I headed down to Isetan to meet my mum and buy my dinner which is.. SUSHI! haha darn nice. I think I should reduce eating sushi though. Cos I'm suppose to be on a mission to LOSE WEIGHT.
SIGH. OH! I played Bball with Mai yest. HAHA we were shooting balls in another court away from the guys. haha.. then we talked alot. About random stuff, about her and about me. Actually everything under the sun. haha. And Mai's really comical at times. like BOOM.. haha. inside joke laaa. Now, my under arms are aching. YUPP I still have dormant muscles. MAI! We have to improve our skills and your arm power haha. We'll find one day to play again! haha.
It has been seriously ages before I have a girls talk to someone in school. Seriously, I feel so much better. I mean is like a feeling stuck there. Now this channel is finally unclogged or something. Really feel much better. Thanks Mai! really.
Now there's so many things to do but I don't know how to start. SERIOUSLY. I wonder whether anyone reading this has this feeling before. But I have it now. SIANed. There's 6 hours of break tmr. 6 HOURS. -..- Firstly, to the library to research on IPT. Then I'll see the time and then find a place to sleep. SOMEWHERE. I've been not having enough sleep, too much activities, too much HW and projects to do, extra activities outside.. argh~ I feel like I'm going to burst.
I guess I have to take one step at a time. :)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
TP email
10:40 PM
I can finally tie my hair with a pen like FINALLY! At least it's confirmed that my hair has grown longer. HAHAHAHA yeah.
Anyway, I finally was able to get into TP's mail. THANK GOD. At least I don't have to go and ask Miss Hor if there's any problems to it. THANKS shikin for helping that night!!! haha hope i wasn't disturbing you! :)
Now I've gotta to 2 things. DDCT fila chart and CSAS presentation. CRAP. i hate school. But what to do hahaha. Ok i better go do those. if not I'll have not enough of my BEAUTY SLEEP. haha
I'm just jokin'
Toodles~
Monday, November 3, 2008
CRAP.
11:01 PM
TP's email seriously SUCKS. I mean, they want us to change our emails to Windows Live. So i tried. GUESS WHAT?!?!??!
Windows Live block me out cos I kept signing in too many times. Now I can't sign in. WTH. I followed the whole instructions. I've even memorised it. ARGHHHH. Why change email host? everything was ok what!!!
Now damn pissed with it.
Heck la! do Tutorial.
I HATE SCHOOL.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I Turn to you
4:42 PM
I Turn To You - Christina Aguilera
When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way
When I'm scared, losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around, yes
And when I'm down
You're there pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got
For a shield from the storm
For a friend,
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true,
I turn to you
When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything,
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith,
Taking me through the night, yeah
For a shield from the storm
For a friend,
For a love to keep me safe and warm,
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
I turn to you,
Oh, yeah, oh
For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For the one who I can run to
Oh, oh, I
Turn to you
Oh, oh, yea
To keep me safe and warm, yeah, yeah
I turn to you
For the strength,
For the will to carry on, oh, oh
For everything you do,
For everything that's true,
For everything you do, oh, oh, oh
For everything that's true,
I turn to you
Although this song is REALLY old. But it still is a very nice song. Many would agree.
hmmm
4:14 PM
I'm bummed. Cos' I have to go to school tmr for DDCT consultation and final confirmation of the FILA chart.. when I'm not suppose to have anything and like start school at 3. SIGH. I could have just meet Mr Nua. and spend more time together.
It not that we don't see each other or something. We're actually in the same class. But even though we're like in the same class. But we're just like normal friends. Talking about HW discussing about projects talking and joking with other friends. There's just not enough time for like just us two. Like outside of school, TP. It seems like rather difficult. With time tables like this, more than working hours. I can't go out during school time, neither can I go out at night. cos I need to use that time that I have for HW and projects and stuff. Sigh~ the only time we have is when there's no lab and we'll spend time together outside of school another is sending me home from school. But he's busy with Bball sometimes and also meeting up with his buds. So most of the time it cuts out.
I really like the time we had when we went Opp. to get Bubble tea and we were like playing and just spending time together. It was seriously very nice. Its been like super long. Furthermore, it really breaks my heart to see him so tired sleeping in Lecs. cos he sleeps late or plays games till late night. I don't know. when I call him at night he's too tired, so we talk like really little compared to before.
I hate school cos it makes me stressed and tired.
I hate projects cos it takes up my free time.
I hate my timetable.
I don't know why i wanna post this out.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
OLDme.
6:47 PM
A new blog AGAIN. haha I have been changing here to there to here again. I find that different host have different pros and cons. I'm still more adjusted to Blogger's OH well.